"The Love Of Money..."

Last evening I made my weekly Sunday telephone call to my 79 year old Mother in Winston-Salem, N.C. Predicting what she will talk about is as easy as making a wager that Wednesday will follow a Tuesday. Still, it is most therapeutic for her and I otherwise engage myself with words games on my computer as she rambles on about the weather and her many real and debilitating physical ailments. It is an hour that she most looks forward to and an hour I certainly don't mind dedicating to her alone.

My Dad passed away a year ago this past Thanksgiving. Mom and Dad had been married for 60 years...most of them at least tolerable, if not blissful. Dad was a hard taskmaster and, therefore, equally hard to live with, especially for my Mom as she spent the last five years of his life being the necessary nursemaid to his steadily declining health. The immediate family all predicted that she wouldn't last a year after Dad passed, so wrapped up was she in caring for him...that task defining her day-to-day existence. But thus far she has fooled us all...thankfully. We attribute this welcomed resilience to her other life-long passion... amassing and overseeing a rather sizable nest egg...the value and extent of which isn't even fully appraised by her. So, predictably the subject of mine and my brother's eventual inheritance came to the fore.

Let me preference the following remarks by stating that my Mother doesn't possess a greedy bone in her body, but does possess a healthy respect for money. For her it is a tool that she has wielded wisely over the years to assure that she and Dad wouldn't have a moment's concern regarding their financial security. She could walk this earth for another 100 years and still have as many assets as she currently has accumulated to date. So, she continues to tinker and wishes to assure that I approve of her reasoning. She listed several new options to her last Will & Testament, most of which reward my younger brother more significantly for his stepping up to be Mom's helpmate since Dad's passing. "Was that alright" with me," she inquired.

I always hate this section of our weekly conversations, as it makes me very uncomfortable to discuss what she wishes to do with her worldly wealth, as I, honestly, could care less. I acknowledge and enthusiastically support that she may do whatever she cares to do and I would prefer not to have a say in how she does so. I also realize that upon her passing my financial wherewithal will change significantly. I do not wish to dwell on that eventuality as I prefer to live my life as I have for the last 59 years: relying on my own God-given abilities to make it through this world being self-reliant. It shall be what it shall be...all in God's timing.

I conclude this introspection to also comment on my Mother's younger sister Shirley. She, like my Mother and her older brother, Albert, grew up literally dirt farm poor in rural North Carolina. Both my Mom and my Aunt Shirley married well...both to enterprising men who through their ardours efforts produced a standard of living for their families that would be envious by most standard means of measurement. Uncle Bill started a company that made for him thousands upon thousands of dollars, affording his family of three children a most luxurious and pampered lifestyle. But my Aunt Shirley isn't satisfied with the untold blessing that have come her way. She wants more. She is upset with my Uncle Albert...upset that he didn't give her one third of their father's homestead when he passed away 40 years ago, but instead willed it all to Albert. She continues to hold a grudge against her brother...so much so that she hasn't spoken to him in years. This woman has no need for another dollar, but her misguided sense of fairness has turned her inwardly bitter toward her own flesh and blood. I pity her. She has swallowed the poison pill of bitterness hoping that her brother will suffer the consequences. How sad. How greedy.

I hope my Mom lives for another whatever number of years the good Lord wishes to bless her. I will cry at her funeral and be truly thankful that she was such a good Mother to me and my brother. Whatever riches that may come my way upon her passing shall be most certainly appreciated, but will pale in comparison to the love and devotion she showered upon her two sons all of her life. How does one place a price tag on that?