"HOT!!"

I have no idea who this seductive young lady is, but her photograph hopefully serves to illustrate the point that (most) men enjoy looking at pretty women. I know that I do, and this propensity was the subject entered into with great vigor as part of the discussion that occurred this past Monday evening at the gathering of our Dynamic Love couples. No, it is not a collection of orgasmic sex fiends, but an intimate and safe environment in which married couples may utilize the included course materials to more deeply and profoundly enrich their marriages "emotionally, sexually, and spiritually."

Dynamic Love is the more intimate twelve session offshoot course to the eight-week, interactive Dynamic Marriage ministry course that is produced and distributed by Family Dynamics, Inc. located in Franklin, Tennessee (http://www.familydynamic.net/), for which wife Judi and I are certified course facilitators. Dynamic Marriage graduates learn, through the course materials and couple's homework assignments, how to "be" married, and to regain and sustain that level of intimacy that the couples joyfully experienced when they first fell in love. The Dynamic Love course delves more deeply and intimately into how each partner in the marriage may learn to be more in tune in meeting their own and their spouse's emotional, spiritual and sexual needs and desires. The course materials and follow up homework assignments can lead to some pretty interesting (some times intense) discussions between the married partners, and to some equally interesting (and often entertaining) sharing during the discussion sessions. Thus was the case this past Monday night when Part 1 of sexual intimacy was the topic...

The question for debate, "When does a male's (always the male!) appreciation of an attractive female cross the line from mere acknowledgement into becoming offensive to their mate? The question was posed by (we'll call here Nancy), herself a stunning beauty in her own right, who took personal offense that her spouse (we'll call him Fred) in her mind seemed to take his observations to a whole other elevated level of appreciation: "She's hot!!," were the descriptive words that set her off. Fred responded that"her reaction was not logical" (totally wrong choice of words), that he was merely making an observation of the obvious. Whether logical or not, "perception is reality," Judi and I chimed in. Fred insisted that he had no carnal intention of "acting" on his observation...just overtly appreciating a fine work of nature. Nancy was not appeased...nor amused.

I suggested that men, for the most part, regard other females much like they regard automobiles. A Ford is a Ford is a Ford, but a Jaguar...now that's fine looking automobile. It's a statement of fact and not a precursor that I intend to rush out and possess that particular brand of automobile. It's when I begin to drool all over myself that my observation has transformed into flights of fancy, so much so that I absentmindedly walk out into an on-coming Ford sedan rounding the corner. Nancy shook her head in agreement. Fred was left pondering that analogy.

Judi entered into the fray by stating that some women appreciate being admired by members of the opposite sex...that they are inwardly flattered by their compliments that infer that they are attractive, appealing and alluring. It's an ego booster for women. It is most appreciated when these same compliments are expressed by their husbands, but not totally ignored or discounted when received from others than their mates. All in the room concurred. Fred was still left pondering...

Final consensus? All/most men are going to look at other females and, admittedly, evaluate their most notable "accessories." And some women (if not most) are going to evaluate other men, using whatever personal criteria they hold dear in judging their observations. The line not to cross over in doing so is to ogle and froth at the mouth, or use the word "hot" in conjunction with said observations. Fred seemed to get it. We suggested that he take his "hot" wife home and make mad passionate love to her. They both left with a smile on their face...and sat outside in their car in front of our house for over 30 minutes. Judi and I have no earthly idea what they were doing. Yea...right!

Our next session is on Part II of Sexual Intimacy. I'll keep you posted...