"A Failure To Communicate..."

When musing about what to title this entry I remembered one of the most memorable lines of dialogue from one of my most favorite movies, "Cool Hand Luke," in which the "Captain" is addressing the prisoners, including most mature women's heartthrob, Paul Newman. And I quote," What we have here is a failure to communicate." This about sums up my feelings this morning, having just spoken to daughter Megan regarding her conversation with Dell Computers.

It has now been confirmed that Judi's laptop computer, that I wished to present her on Christmas morning, will not be delivered today...the day before Christmas...but shall be delivered "some time by mid-January." My reaction? And I quote, "Well, that's great! That's just super! Crap!!" Or words to that effect. Apparently my previous conversation with the Dell representative from Bangladesh, who promised me in her broken English, that the computer would be delivered in plenty of time for Christmas failed to mention which Christmas she had in mind. I am thoroughly disappointed to say the least.

According to Megan, the $20.00 we spent to have the instrument shipped to her address in two business days was a "miscommunication on their part." No hock, Sherlock! It seems that half the nation decided to order Dell computers the last week before Christmas and this turn of events threw their production schedules into a tizzy. It's a nice problem for them to have...no so much for me. Had not their WEB site stated that two day delivery could be anticipated and had I not been assured by Dell-Bangladesh that that would indeed be the case, I would have made other arrangements to secure Judi's most wanted gift through another venue. Yea...and if soup were nuts we'd all have a Merry Christmas. Dell now promises, for what that may be worth, to up-grade our shipping to "next day" whenever the computer is ready to ship. Thanks a lot.

What to do? Megan and I decided that after Mom opens up all her other presents (She's still getting her iPod), we'll take her into where the desktop computer is located in the house and pull up Dell's WEB site and show her the laptop she eventually will receive. To me that's like a child on Christmas morning who has asked for a bicycle for Christmas only to open a present that contains a picture of the bicycle he so had his heart set on. It's hard to ride around the neighborhood on a picture. But it is what it is and there's nothing I can do to change it. The virtual thing will have to suffice for the time being.

Still...I'm disappointed. Boy, if I could get that Dell Lady from Bangladesh back on the phone I'd give her a piece of my mind...all in the spirit of Christmas, don't you know.

LFB: "Dell Computers. How may I help you?"

Me: "I want my $20.00 back!"

LFB: "With whom do I speak?"

Me: "Jim, from St. Petersburg, Florida. You remember me don't you? Megan's Dad."

LFB: "Who?"

Me: "I ordered laptop computer and you promised two day delivery. Now I'm being told it won't be delivered until the middle of January. I want my two-day $20.o0 shipping fee returned."

LFB: "I not have your $20.00. I can't help you."

Me: "I'm sending a representative from my personal collection agency to retrieve my $20.00. His name is Guido. He has a bad disposition and won't take 'No' for an answer. Expect him this afternoon. Have the money ready...or else!"

LFB: "What?"

Me: "Merry Christmas."

Click.

I feel better already.