In another lifetime I was an executive director of my own YMCA branch in Lebanon, Tennessee. My immediate supervisor of the Metropolitan "Y" in Nashville lived with his wife on a large farm that was literally overrun with a large assortment of animals. To my rather well-trained, city-slicker eye, it appeared that the greatest majority of these animals were dogs. There were dogs of every size and description running in wild abandon all around us with reinforcements on the way. It was obvious that the wife in particular loved these dogs and they her. The wife (her name escapes me after these many years gone by) proclaimed that she maintained a "list" of every dog she had ever owned, who sired whom, and the ribbons and prizes some of the more special breeds had won. As she was going on and on about "her dogs," one rather sad looking specimen, that, in my opinion, couldn't have won any sort of beauty contest even if it was the sole entrant, came sulking up to lay beside us. Asked the lady, "Do you know anything about dogs? This one has the mange!" Mustering up everything instantaneously that I could remember about what I personally knew about the canine breed, I replied, "I know one when I see one." That remark abruptly ended any further conversation with this woman.
In a nutshell, I'm not a big fan of lists. In fact, I avoid them like a mangy dog. Some people like lists. Some people live by lists. My wife is one. She feels lost if she doesn't have her day mapped out before her and a list of planned activities and hoped for accomplishments as her faithful companion and guide for the day. Me? After I awake each morning, it's whatever comes down the pike. Don't ask me to make a list or have a list of planned activities. I do whatever I do until I'm too tired to go any longer and I call that "a good day." A "list" would most likely remind me of what I didn't get accomplished, and if it were to fall into the wrong hands, there might be needless eyebrows raised in disapproval. I don't need the added aggravation, thank you.
What prompted me to embark on this tirade was the rediscovery of a book that had languished for undisturbed years atop my bed's headboard. The title of the book, List Your Self - List Making as the Way to Self-Discovery. "A provocative, probing and personal expedition into your mind, heart, and soul." Oh goody... Hopefully this book was a gift, as I can't think of a single reason I would ever consider purchasing it for myself. The book contains 297 pages with 285 pages subdivided into 10 categories under which there is every type of exhaustive list imaginable. Examples. Under the category "Yourself" the reader is challenged to "List the way the full moon affects your behavior" and "List any telepathic or paranormal experiences you've had." Apparently the authors were intent on making this book broad-based in its appeal. Under the same category two additional directives, "List all of the qualities in yourself you like the least" and "List all the reason you should congratulate and celebrate yourself." My initial reaction is that there are way too many blank lines devoted to the first list and not near enough pages for the second.
Under the category Daily Life, "List what's under your sink," and "List what's consistently in your garbage." For goodness sakes, "Why!?!" Business - "List what you'd like to shout out loud to your boss or coworkers." At least that list has some merit. Culture - List all the celebrities you'd like to sock in the face." My list would be longer than the book! Under Men and Women - List what's wrong with women." Would I even dare? Growing Up - "List all your favorite lost items." If I could remember where I lost these items I wouldn't need the stupid list! Finally under Suddenly - "Suddenly you've arrived on Jupiter. List the things your can't live without." Suddenly oxygen comes to mind.
No thank you. I can live my life quite effectively without the need to reduce or define it by a collection of lists. For me it's always "Just Another Day In Paradise!" Now...where did I put the
television listing for the games this weekend?
