Each weekday morning I stop by a local convenience store to purchase a cup of coffee to enjoy during my commute to the office. This morning's visit was otherwise uneventful except for the presence of an older unoccupied and poorly maintained foreign made sedan that was parked, not in an individually marked space, but caddy-corner so as to take up two spaces. I probably would have payed little note to this observation were it not for the added facts that the car was unoccupied, the motor was running, and the radio was blaring at the top of its range. The ear-splitting sounds emanating from this vehicle...I hesitate to call them "music"...were so loud that I dare say they could be clearly discerned in an adjacent zip code. The owner of this vehicle was easily identifiable as he purposefully displayed a "kiss my rear end" swagger as he sauntered aimlessly around the convenience store as though the entire world's population was waiting with bated breath to observe his next "cool" move. Exiting the store...catch this...he walked slowly around his car several times, coyly casting glances in all directions to see if any one was looking his way, finally entered the car, turned up the volume yet another ten decibels, put the car in gear and roared off with the tires screaming and smoking in protest. I certainly was impressed!
The comic George Carlin once suggested that all motorist should be equipped with a bow and a quiver of arrows that had little flags attached with the word "stupid!" These arrows would be utilized when one motorist observed another motorist doing something asininely "stupid," like coming to an intersection with one's turn signal indicating a left turn then making a right turn across traffic. "Zonk!!" That's the sound the arrow makes as it's suction cup makes contact with the vehicle's trunk. Everyone who followed this particular vehicle would then take added precautions to steer a wider berth, being pretty assured that the operator was not of sound mind. This morning I wish I had such a supply of arrows, although I seriously doubt that I would have restricted my aim solely and exclusivley to the automobile.
Some people would more kindly classify the individual at the convenience store as being "rude" and "inconsiderate." For me those labels don't quite cover his behavior. I call it blatant arrogance. I despise arrogance! Despise it with a burning passion! Personal observations of such misguided displays of false superiority, conceit, and self-importance makes me wish I had a large cast-iron skillet to whack purveyors of these behaviors squarely across their mouth. "Bonk!! That's the sound the skillet would make as it made contact with their empty skulls!
As much as I would wish to be given vigilantly license to "bonk" away to me heart's content, laying low all the arrogant fools I inevitably encounter, I have learned to restraint my wrath to less retaliatory remedies. Example... I stopped by the local neighborhood post office recently to drop off a letter. Exiting the building I encountered a well-heeled lady of no little means herself exiting her high-priced Mercedes. Problem... She had parked in a clearly marked handicap space. Observation... No visible blue handicap sticker was hanging from her rear-view mirror. Said I, "Where is your handicap permit? "What?" said she. "You're parked in a handicap parking space and I don't see that you have permission to do so," said I. "I'm only going to be a few minutes," said she. "Fine," said I. "That will be just enough time for me to let the air out of your front tires." "What!?!" said she. Said I, "When the police get here, I want to make sure that your car is clearly observed to be parked illegally." "You can't do that!!" said she. "Try me," said I. She moved her car.
"Bonk!!" The skillet wielding vigilante strikes again!!
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