"Let The Fun Begin..."

It has taken me years to establish, my reputation for being a prankster, but I wear that label with no small amount of pride. I like having fun and sometimes, if the opportunity presents itself, at another person's expense. Never anything malicious, mind you, just a firm poke in the ribs at a person's dignity usually does the trick.

Some times my partner in concocting these various ruses is my dear wife who likes a good joke as much as do I. One of our most favorites is to present an extra special gift to a friend who happens to be celebrating a very public birthday. The ingredients, all of which can be obtained from any grocery, is as follows...

The amount of the various food items utilized in the final mixture depends on the size of the vessel in which the gift is to presented. (More on that component later.) We suggest that you begin by crumpling up several slices of banana nut bread. To that base layer mix in several large chocolate oatmeal cookies, each of which has been shredded into small bite size pieces. Next blend in copious amounts of chocolate covered peanuts and raisins. To bind all together, liberally slather on equal portions of chocolate and caramel syrup, the type used for topping ice cream. If you really want to go wild, mix in a few bite size Reese's peanut butter cups and perhaps an additional squirt or two of maple syrup. Yum!! Make that the final product is not too running, but has enough consistency to be served and consumed with a fork or spoon.

And now for the piece de resistance...the container into which this palette pleasing concoction is to be gift-wrapped: a bed pan - the size, color and shape to be of you choosing. I happen to have a ready source supplied by an equally fiendish friend who works at a local hospital, who assure me of their pristine virgin quality. You, on the other hand, can obtain this unique serving dish from a medical supply outlet or local drug store. A certain degree of precaution is required to assure that the recipient of the gift doesn't inadvertently mishandle the gift prior to it being opened, and thus spilling the contents out of the bed pan. We recommend first placing the bed pan in a sealed plastic bag, then placing it into a box that will be gift wrapped. We also pointedly instruct the lucky recipient that the gift is extremely fragile and should be very carefully handled, especially upon opening. Then we just sit back and wait for the anticipated reaction by the birthday man or woman. It is usually priceless.

This past Saturday night we attended the 50th birthday party of my cousin Kim. When it was that time to publicly open all of her many birthday cards and gifts, she seated herself on an elevated stool so all in attendance at the party could observe as she oohed and awed and expressed words of grateful appreciation for each well chosen gift. Ours was last. "We love you Kim, and this gift is from the bottom of our hearts." Carefully, as previously instructed, she gingerly removed the gift wrapping from the outer box. Holding the the still covered item in her hands, her expression displayed doubtful consternation about the genuineness of our gift, she being fully aware of my long established reputation for being a tireless originator of practical jokes. Slowly she continued removing the outer wrapping, then her mouth feel open. "Ewe-e-e-e! What is this!?!" "Happy Birthday, Kim!! It's our world famous Bed Pan Brownies!!" Poor thing, she almost fell off her stool as she held the dark chocolate souffle at arm's length. "What am I suppose to do with this!?" she exclaimed. "Well," said I, "if you run out of birthday cake, you can serve the brownies." Everyone loved the prank, even Kim...eventually. Several of the guests requested the recipe, expressing a keen desire to pull this joke on their friends at some future birthday parties. Ah yes.... Another success story. My Mother would be so proud!

I'm not sure if this practical joke is original with us, but I couldn't find any reference to it on Google. That ought to tell you something. Whether or not the recipients ever actually consume the contents of the bed pan is up for conjecture, but I'm thinking that everyone will sooner or later find a practical use for a bed pan, a gift that keeps on giving. So, if you have a birthday party of a friend to attend in the near future and you're pretty sure that they are not card-carrying members of the NRA, you might want to whip up your own version of Bed Pan Brownies and enjoy the shocked reaction that is sure to occur. Bon appetit!