With the world apparently headed to Hell ass-end over tea cup...some times it is comforting, if not necessary, to look for subject matter that is a little less dire in its potential consequence. With that quest in mind, I offer you a couple of examples of to why the State of Florida differs from California -the undisputed mecca of loony - only by degrees of longitude and latitude. Dateline No. 1: Port St. Lucie, Florida. Meet 28 year old Roberto Carlos. This past Saturday evening Mr. Carlos was arrested on a charge of indecent exposure after being taken into custody by the Port St. Lucie police. As it turns out, stripping off his clothes and running butt-naked down the middle of a city street was Mr. Carlos' Plan "B." Plan "A" was to punch one of the city's police officers in the face, announce that he is an illegal alien, and wished to be deported back to his home country, Mexico. Both ill-conceived plans fermented into blurry existence as a result of a full Saturday afternoon of extensive consumption of hops laden beverages and further punctuated by an on-going argument with his "boyfriend." What's a thoroughly discontented foreign alien to do but resort to the back up plan when the local constables strongly suggested that his initial plan was patently flawed?
Currently Mr. Carlos is cooling his heels (and other parts of his exposed anatomy) on the cold concrete benches in the Port St. Lucie jail awaiting adjudication of the misdemeanor charge to be followed, no doubt, with an expedited hearing on his nationality status. I have to applaud Mr. Carlos' approach to airing his grievance, shunning the less desirable violent alternative in favor of exposing in plain view the root casue of his discontent. Makes me wonder what a guy has to do in order to get deported from this country?
Dateline No 2: Fort Pierce, Florida. Meet 39 year old Richard Corley, arrested for throwing a fish from atop a bridge at a boater below, striking said boater in the head. According to the police affidavit, Mr. C
orley, along with several other fellow fisher type persons, were attempting to make casts in the same general direction and location of said boater. The boater, who was not named in the newspaper account, was allegedly asked repeatedly by the bridge occupants to move his boat. Said unnamed boater allegedly refused to do so. The resulting failure to communicate escalated to the point to where Mr. Corley took fish in hand and announced. "I'll make him move his boat!" whereupon Mr. Corley proceeded to hurl a disemboweled fish at said boater. Police were summoned to the scene, escorted said boater to location of incident, and identified Mr. Corely as the perpetrator. Police were unable to locate the fish to get its version of the incident, but additional eye-witnesses were sufficient to assess Mr. Corley with a felony charge of throwing a missile into a vehicle and an accompanying misdemeanor battery charge. Mr. Corely was released of a $15,000 bond.
orley, along with several other fellow fisher type persons, were attempting to make casts in the same general direction and location of said boater. The boater, who was not named in the newspaper account, was allegedly asked repeatedly by the bridge occupants to move his boat. Said unnamed boater allegedly refused to do so. The resulting failure to communicate escalated to the point to where Mr. Corley took fish in hand and announced. "I'll make him move his boat!" whereupon Mr. Corley proceeded to hurl a disemboweled fish at said boater. Police were summoned to the scene, escorted said boater to location of incident, and identified Mr. Corely as the perpetrator. Police were unable to locate the fish to get its version of the incident, but additional eye-witnesses were sufficient to assess Mr. Corley with a felony charge of throwing a missile into a vehicle and an accompanying misdemeanor battery charge. Mr. Corely was released of a $15,000 bond. At least in this second incident everyone kept their clothes on. Pity...
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