"And Now A Word From My Sponsor..."

Where to begin... I am now less than two days away from entering the hospital come this Monday morning at 5:30 a.m.to undergo a five hour heart by-pass procedure. Although I have had a whirlwind of pre-operative activities these past two weeks...EKG, blood test, x-rays, etc. - I have managed to keep my mind occupied with other than dwelling on the looming certainty that for the next four to five weeks I am going to be reduced to the totally unfamiliar state of inactivity punctuated by an initial period of physical discomfort. I have resigned myself to that fact, but it doesn't take away that ever present sense of foreboding, knowing that even though I tolerate pain rather well, when it is persistent and unrelenting, my patient and tolerance grows very thin. As the saying goes,"It is what it is," and I will bear up and deal with it.

Even though the surgery in its aftermath is certainly foremost in the immediacy of my coming days and weeks, my largest and most nagging concerns resolves around the fact that as of yesterday I will have no weekly income, having been "laid off" from my job. I'm not bitter about that turn of events. The company I worked for has but five employees and it is, therefore, economically untenable for my employer to continue to pay my weekly salary when there is barely enough cash reserves in these continuing hard economic times to sustain day-to-day operations. My employer is continuing to underwrite my health insurance that is costing him over a thousand dollars a month, for which I am most grateful. Otherwise, Judi and I would be facing economic ruin.

I would be a liar if I didn't admit that I am carrying a certain level of anxiety into these coming days and weeks, but I also maintain an prevailing sense of peace that everything will work out, that the God that I love and trust and believe in will sustain us through these difficult times. As a proof of His watch care, I played golf this past Thursday with my senior pastor and our minister of worship. Throughout the round they badgered me lovingly with questions of my mental outlook and prospects for the future. I relayed to them off-handily that I was facing a $400.00 co-pay for my hospital stay plus other incidental expenses that Judi and I would have to pay ourselves out of pocket. The following day, as I was assisting our church's maintenance staff in their efforts to secure favorable vendor proposals to up-grade the facility's fire alarm system, I was invited to step into the administrative director's office at the conclusion of that meeting, where I was greeted again by my "golfing buddies" and told that all "out-of-pocket" medical expenses would be underwritten in full by my church. "This church loves you, Jim. You have for years given so unselfishly in some many incalculable ways to the welfare of this church and it's family of members. You are family and we take care of family." A wonderful and most unexpected gesture of human kindness, or an answer to prayer? Both!

You see...I have long ago given up trusting in fate, but have never given up in trusting in my faith. God has time and time again lead me through many past shadow valleys and said to me in His still quite voice, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. Your full rewards are truly in Heaven, but while you remain as my servant here on earth I am your ever faithful care giver and provider." So even though I face an unpleasant immediate future my rewards are assured. And for this I am truly thankful.

For the time being I say to all who visit this attempt at being a genuine fellow traveler in this journey called life, I must sign off for what I pray will be for a short respite, only to come back again better than ever and to celebrate my recovery and new heath with you all. Peace and may God find you worthy of all that He so lovingly bestows on you as blessings.