"PANIC!!"

I know that Valentine's Day is not until the day after tomorrow, but a profound sense of panic is already permeating my otherwise demure and sedate state of complacency. I don't do particularly well with gift-giving. I require hints. A list of gift suggestions is even better. Christmas, birthday, wedding anniversary and Valentine's Day all give me a sense of dread. Not that I am at all opposed to these celebratory opportunities...it's just that I want to expend enough personal grey matter to demonstrate to my darling wife that I have given each occassion more than just a passing lick and a promise, knowing that a dog-eared card and a wilting rosebud doesn't exactly convey a much appreciated essence of romance or a renewed pledge of my unwavering love and devotion. What to do that demonstrates sincerity and depth of feeling?

Being a typical red-blooded male, lingerie instantly leaps to mind. But, let's be honest, who is that gift really intended to please...hum-m-m-m? Judi would see right through that ruse. "Sex, Sex, SEX!! Is that ALL that is on your mind!?!" (Actually, no. Occassionally my idle thoughts turn to what may be on the Golf Channel.) Still could a little something frilly be such a terrible idea? I was thinking of perhaps this eye-appealing little number...

Then again, maybe not...

Jewelry is always a dependable gift stable. Nothing says "I love you" more eloquently than a diamond encrusted piece of well-crafted Bling Bling. I've had my eye on the following bobble...

Again, maybe not...unless I have a desire to spend between now and hell freezing over sleeping on the couch.

Guess I'll fall back to the old tried and proved expressions of my love by purchasing a well chosen Hallmark inspired card and red roses, and maybe a small box of chocolates. Dinner reservations have already be secured, promising that we would dine at one of the finer eating establishments rather than being satisifed with pulling up a couple of bar stools at Al's Crab Shack. Perhaps if the evening gravitates toward a romantic conclusion I'll spring that little red number above on her and she'll present me with a gift only she can give with complete and utter freedom of expression.

It's the thought that counts. Happy Valentine's Day ya'll!