"It's A Far, Far Better Thing That I Do Than I've Ever Done Before"

It is becoming apparent to me that I am to celebrate Father's Day this coming Sunday. Not unlike my paying attention to any degree to my birthdays that are now coming more frequently with each passing year, I haven't given much personal thought to "doing something special" for Father's Day. My wife, Judi, and daughter, Megan, seem to place more importance on the day than do I. I suppose that's a good thing. Hopefully I'm not coming off sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, I'm just not bent in the direction of having anyone making a fuss over me.

By all means I'm not discounting the importance of there being a strong "Father figure" in the home. Nor do I attribute "Fatherhood" with possessing any greater or lesser importance and significance than there also being a strong "Mother figure" in the domestic mix. Both are equally important and the absence of either diminishes the potential of well-rounded growth for the children under their tutelage. I am also not discounting the many documented successes that single parent families have had and are having in the area of child rearing. But "to go it alone" in this most important arena makes it doubly difficult if not exponentially more so when a parent must struggle to master the task of being both parents. Two less one doesn't equal one when the one remaining parent has to become two. It just doesn't add up...and the child often suffers the loss...as does the in-home parent.

Other than the tragic loss of a parent due to death, I grieve and am angered by this unnecessary occurrence when it is as a result of a divorce. The emotional pain that the child experiences in such situations is soul deadening, and the wounds may never fully heal, often manifesting themselves in later adult life when the children themselves fail in their own marriages. We in American have come to accept the epidemic divorce rate of over 51% of all marriages as a tide that cannot be reversed. The casualties of this mind set only serves to fuel future generations who will come to regard marriage as being no more sacred than a contract for services that can be abandoned "for cause." For the sake of our nation's children, our cause need be the re-institution of the family as the glue which holds this nation together. If family fails to be sacred, to be cherished, and in need of fierce protection, then little else will.

Some wise person once said to fathers, "If you want to truly love your children, love their mother." I don't think more profound or worthwhile advice could be offered. Love is all about commitment and commitment is all about sacrifice. Though the work involved at times may seem daunting, the dividends of a happy family make it all worthwhile. God gave me two very special blessings...my wife and my daughter. I in turn gave myself two jobs to do...to love my wife and to love my daughter. I am happily employed. Maybe this Sunday I will get a nice paisley tie out of this thing called "Fatherhood."