"A Two Parter..."

PART ONE... It has come to my attention that my last post (see below) is rife with misinformation. Apparently "Happy Harry" never had a great, great Uncle Remus Reid, who allegedly was hanged in Montana in 1889 as a convicted horse thief and train robber. A little fact checking has revealed that this hoax has previously been perpetrated on several prominent political figures prior to "Happy Harry" being so connected. I can't say that I am too terribly disappointed that this has turned out to be the corrected record, as if indeed there was a gentleman of this infamous history, I would certainly hate sullying his reputation further by linking him to the Senator Majority Leader who has managed to become a first-rate scoundrel without the aide of a family tree populated by like miscreants. If indeed there once existed a fellow named Remus, who must surely have been somebody's uncle, I offer my sincerest apologies for any added hurt and embarrassment my post may have inflicted upon his later-day descendants. God knows you don't need Happy Harry's added albatross mistakenly hanging around your necks.

PART TWO... Late last evening the final National Football League team was determined to compete in this year's Super Bowl that is to be played here in Tampa on February 1st. The Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Baltimore Ravens and will pair up against the Arizona Cardinals who had earlier Sunday afternoon bested the Philadelphia Eagles. The entire metropolitan Tampa Bay area is in the frenzied midst of the massive preparations that is required and expected to host what is considered to be one of the premiere yearly sporting events. The chances of your average football fan scoring a ticket for this event is as likely if not decidedly worse than being struck by lightening. In today's economy shelling out half of one's life savings for the privilege of being in physical attendance at this spectacle, even if a ticket were readily available, just isn't that appealing to me, especially since the three million dollar a minute television commercials are not displayed on the stadium's jumbotron. But all is not lost... I have scored two tickets to the next best thing...

LINGERIE BOWL VI

That's right, boys and girls, I pooled all of my egg money and purchased on Ebay two platinum Bob Uecker, front row seats, which entitles me and a guest to unlimited pina coladas, lawn chairs, fresh towels, and a souvenir program signed by the winning team. Such a deal!! There is only one minor drawback... The event is being hosted by a nudist resort! Seriously. Kind of limits my usual practice of wearing my favorite team attire. Oh well...I'll just have to make this sacrifice for the team. My only other concerns are where does one put one's tickets and will standing up to do the mass spectator wave be discouraged? I guess that's what the towels are for.

And if you believe any of this...I've got several hundred acres of repossessed swamp land I'll sell you for a song. Go Team!!