Eww-w-w-w-w!!"

Now here's an idea that will surely sweep the nation like a plague of locus, especially for the thousands of present and future young mother's who, in these most demanding economic times, will be able in the privacy of their own homes to augment their family's income. First we must extend credit where credit is due and robustly applaud the far-sighted folks at PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) who it cannot be disputed burned copious amounts of midnight oil to devise this two-prong plan. Why I didn't think of this brilliant idea myself shall be a regretted short-coming I will just have to live with for the balance of my life. Are you ready? Here goes...

Ben & Jerry's Homemade Ice Cream has this week been approached by PETA representatives with the straight-faced suggestion that the company henceforth forgo utilizing cow's milk in the production of their world famous ice cream and substitute the excess milk from breast feeding mothers. See...I told you it was a major paradigm shift of earth-shaking proportions! PETA stated that by making such a change in the principle ingredient utilized in the production of ice cream would "reduce the suffering of cows and calves and give ice cream lovers a healthier choice." All together now..."Eww-w-w-w!!"

Here's a candidate for the understatement of the day. "The idea received a cool reception form Ben & Jerry's officials" You think!?! And the La Leche League International didn't exactly warm up and embrace the idea either. I would think not.

And what is this nonsense about "cows and calves suffering?" I grew up on a farm that had milk producing cows and believe you me they were glad to see me show up two times a day to relieve them of their liquid bounty...especially on an early cold winter's morning. If these Holstein's could talk I was convinced they would collectively and appreciatively say, "Thanks for the warm hand." But I digress.

Factoid... It requires approximately 12 pounds, or 1 1/2 gallons of cow's milk, to produce one gallon of ice cream. The harvesting of cow's milk is a well-regulated industry, assuring that from udder to table the numerous milk products produced are unquestionably safe for human consumption. The logistics that would be required to substitute equal qualities of breast milk is beyond reasonable comprehension. But you've got to give those enterprising PETA folks credit for providing the Ben & Jerry executives sitting around their corporate headquarters conference table a gigantic laugh. "We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child." Thus was the final approved politically correct statement released by Ben & Jerry's spokesperson. The original draft was more succinct: "What variety of alfalfa have you people at PETA been smoking!!" I like their first draft a lot better.

Does anyone but me ever wonder what part of the shallow end of the gene pool these people swim who not only come up with these harebrained ideas, but actually entertain the misguided belief each will have some validity and acceptance in the market place? Thank goodness PETA's latest attempt at being relevant will never see the light of day and it can been put out to pasture where our ever faithful bovine friends can make regular deposits on such a ridiculous idea! Got ice cream anyone?